Is the feminist agenda really furthered by trying to change men? Or is that just more of the faux-mommyizing codependent bullshit typical of relationships where the woman sees the man as a "project"? What I mean is, if women want something, should we try to make men responsible for giving it to us? Take feelings. Should we make men responsible for not offending us? Why not "fuck you, buddy" instead of "you're an evil person packed with unexamined privilege, shaaaame, SHAAAAME"? Sure, it's true, many of them are; but how is it men's problem if we don't like what dicks they are? If it's a free country, men can be dicks. Why even focus on them? Why don't we focus on what *we're* going to do? All I'm saying is, if our strategy relies on making unwilling others do what we want, that seems disturbingly like their strategy. But they are willing to methodically use violence in a manner that amounts to terrorism, so what's our angle? Dressing up and holding protests for one; but they've got that covered too. I think we need something more like a mutually supportive network, one that does more than talk, one that takes practical steps to help its members and focuses on our cohort rather than the minority rainbow.
What do we want?
- equal pay for equal work
- reproductive health care and freedom
- an end to violence against women
Among things that seem less relevant: attempting to make men help us by criticizing their sexuality. Sure, it's often fucked up, but until it's criminally fucked up I think it's a side issue and we should focus on each other rather than on dudes.
Another problem with focusing on men is that we appear to blame all men for the actions of *criminals*. You can't expect to get justice while you're being unjust.